Good communication can improve sex life
Submitted by: Marc C. Gittelman, M.D,
Submitted on: April 26, 2005
Q: I’m just not as interested in making love anymore. My husband wants to have sex more frequently, but I can be satisfied with just a little bit of cuddling. Is this normal? Can I get that feeling back again?
A: Your age, hormones and the states of your relationship have a huge effect on your sexual appetite. Many long-term lovers actually feel more attracted to each other over time and they rate their partners as being more attractive to them over time. Still, sexual sparks can fizzle out and making love can feel as boring as watching old reruns.
As women approach menopause (or undergo a “total” hysterectomy resulting in immediate menopause), there is a dramatic shift in the major hormones that drive women’s sexual appetite. These hormones are estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Your gynecologist can help to balance your hormones.
We used to think of testosterone as being a man’s hormone but now we know that it is just as important to a woman to drive up her sexual temperature. Medical research is already testing testosterone patches for women and the early results show that women who receive testosterone have improved sexual arousal, orgasm, pleasure, and responsiveness. But many women can experience these changes in desire well before they encounter hormonal changes.
Some women lose interest in their partners because of relationship issues that can cause anger and resentment. The best approach is good communication with your husband. Talk about your feelings, your day at work and your frustrations. Equally important, each of you should be a good listener. Plan a date night to re-energize on physical and emotional levels. Remember to share your dreams, not just your vacation dreams, but also your sexual fantasies.