The No. 1 reason women make love: intimacy
Submitted by: Marc C Gittelman, M.D.
Submitted on: March 14, 2006
Q: I have settled into a long-term, very satisfying relationship, both emotionally and physically. But one thing remains a mystery to me. Women are so unpredictable about understanding what it is that make them want to make love. Could you shed some light on that Dr. G?
A: The eternal mystery for men is finding that magical key or those mystical words that will open the door of romance. And while that may never be solved, there is recent science that begins to unravel this complex puzzle.
Dr. Cindy Meston, an associate professor at the University of Texas has compiled a list of reasons why women say they make love. No. 8 on the list is pregnancy. Surprising to men may be that No.’s 6 and 7 are for fun and pleasure of experiencing the sensations of passion or lust for their partner. No. 5 is a way to “get their partner to do something they want.” And for some couples “make-up sex,” No. 4, is a way to reunite not only with their words but also with the sense of bonding and closeness that comes with making love to peacefully close an argument. High on the list, No. 3, is the desire of a woman to reassure her partner that he is attractive. The second most common answer was the enhancement of her own sense of well-being so that she would feel less lonely, sad, tense, or more attractive, powerful and womanly. And the No. 1 answer that women give for making love is to increase their emotional intimacy with their partner.
In a study at the University of Chicago in the mid ‘90s we learned that 79 percent of women enjoy the caressing involved in foreplay far more than sex itself. It has taken some scientific surveys to show men what most women have been telling us all along: Making love may be fun, but it is really part of the underlying vehicle that helps them feel more closely connected and emotionally bonded with their partner.