Tough baby-making efforts
Submitted by: Marc C. Gittelman, M.D.
Submitted on: March 27, 2007
Q: My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for more than one year. What started as a romantic adventure is now frustrating and interfering with our relationship. Is this normal?
A: You are among 15 percent of couples who have difficulty conceiving. You may require further evaluation by your gynecologist and your husband’s urologist. In the meantime, relax. In 2006, Dr. John Mulhall at Cornell University studied more than 100 couples who had difficulty achieving pregnancy for more than one year. The medical team found that 23 percent of the women had moderate depression and nearly 14 percent had severe depression. They also found that the women’s sexual desire, arousal and orgasm suffered significantly. The men interviewed were experiencing a decrease in their sexual function. On a positive note, the relationship was more likely to remain strong if the couple had been together for a long time.
There are many hormonal and psychological factors that can contribute to emotional responses during this time. The stress endured can make it even more difficult to get pregnant. A more relaxed state of mind and body can greatly improve your chances. When the fun of making love is turned into a scientific program of predicting ovulation, you and your husband focus on when to make love, what time, how often and which position. These are hardly the ingredients of romance.
The best strategy is to integrate romance and fun into your sexual routine. Bring out your sexy lingerie and plan a night of teasing and sensuality that will bring you both back to the days when sex was all about “making love.”